I read the news today, oh boy

About a lucky man who made the grade.

And though the news was rather sad,

I just had to laugh,

I saw the photograph.

He blew his mind out in a car.

He didn't notice that the lights had changed.

A crowd a people stood and stared,

They'd seen his face before.

Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords.

I saw a film today, oh boy.

The English army had just won the war.

A crowd of people turned away,

But I just had to look.

Having read the book,

I'd love to turn you on.

Woke up fell out of bed

Dragged a comb across my head.

Found my way down stairs and drunk a cup

And looking up I notice I was late.

Found my coat and grabbed my hat,

Made the bus is second flat.

Found my way up stairs and hot a smoke

And somebody spoke and I went into a dream.

I heard the news today, oh boy.

Four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire.

And though the holes were rather small,

They had to count them all.

Now they know haw many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.

I'd love to turn you on.