Dear Sir or Madam will you read my book?

It took me years to write, will you take a look?

Based on a novel by a man named Lear

And I need a job so I want to be a paperback writer, paperback writer.

It's the dirty story of a dirty man,

And his clinging wife doesn't understand.

His son is working for the Daily Mail,

It's a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer, paperback writer.

It's thousand pages, give or take a few.

I'll be writing more in a week or two.

I can make it longer if you like the stile,

I can change it 'round and I want to be a paperback writer, paperback writer.

It you really like it you can have the things,

It could make a million for you overnight.

If you must return it you can send it here,

But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer, paperback writer.