Love and the Satyr.

All the stories sung by the sweet singers of all time were echoing in our ears—stories of true love that would not run smoothly until the last chapter; of gallant lovers strong and brave against fate; of tender sweethearts, waiting, trusting, till love’s golden crown was won; so they married and lived happy ever after.

Then stepped briskly on the platform a stout, bald-headed man.  We greeted him with enthusiasm—it was the local low comedian.  The piano tinkled saucily.  The self-confident man winked and opened wide his mouth.  It was a funny song; how we roared with laughter!  The last line of each verse was the same:

“And that’s what it’s like when you’re married.”

“Before it was ‘duckie,’ and ‘darling,’ and ‘dear.’  Now it’s ‘Take your cold feet away, Brute! can’t you hear?’

“Once they walked hand in hand: ‘Me loves ickle ’oo.’  Now he strides on ahead” (imitation with aid of umbrella much appreciated; the bald-headed man, in his enthusiasm and owing to the smallness of the platform, sweeping the lady accompanist off her stool), “bawling: ‘Come along, do.’”

The bald-headed man interspersed side-splitting patter.  The husband comes home late; the wife is waiting for him at the top of the stairs with a broom.  He kisses the servant-girl.  She retaliates by discovering a cousin in the Guards.

The comic man retired to an enthusiastic demand for an encore.  I looked around me at the laughing faces.  Miss Butcher had been compelled to stuff her handkerchief into her mouth.  Mr. Tinker was wiping his eyes; he was not ashamed this time, they were tears of merriment.  Mrs. Apothecary’s motherly bosom was shaking like a jelly.  The Colonel was grinning from ear to ear.

Later on, as I noticed in the programme, the schoolmistress, an unmarried lady, was down to sing “Darby and Joan.”  She has a sympathetic voice.  Her “Darby and Joan” is always popular.  The comic man would also again appear in the second part, and would oblige with (by request) “His Mother-in-Law.”

So the quaint comedy continues: To-night we will enjoy Romeo and Juliet, for to-morrow we have seats booked for The Pink Domino.