SCENE II. The park

From the shooting within, enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL

  NATHANIEL. Very reverent sport, truly; and done in the testimony of
    a good conscience.
  HOLOFERNES. The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe as
    the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of caelo,
    the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab on
    the face of terra, the soil, the land, the earth.
  NATHANIEL. Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly
    varied, like a scholar at the least; but, sir, I assure ye it was
    a buck of the first head.
  HOLOFERNES. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
  DULL. 'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.
  HOLOFERNES. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation,
    as it were, in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were,
    replication, or rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his
    inclination, after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated,
    unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or ratherest
    unconfirmed fashion, to insert again my haud credo for a deer.
  DULL. I Said the deer was not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.
  HOLOFERNES. Twice-sod simplicity, bis coctus!
    O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
  NATHANIEL. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in
      a book;
    He hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink; his
    intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible
    in the duller parts;
    And such barren plants are set before us that we thankful should
      be-
    Which we of taste and feeling are- for those parts that do
      fructify in us more than he.
    For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,
    So, were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school.
    But, omne bene, say I, being of an old father's mind:
    Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.
  DULL. You two are book-men: can you tell me by your wit
    What was a month old at Cain's birth that's not five weeks old as
      yet?
  HOLOFERNES. Dictynna, goodman Dull; Dictynna, goodman Dull.
  DULL. What is Dictynna?
  NATHANIEL. A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.
  HOLOFERNES. The moon was a month old when Adam was no more,
    And raught not to five weeks when he came to five-score.
    Th' allusion holds in the exchange.
  DULL. 'Tis true, indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
  HOLOFERNES. God comfort thy capacity! I say th' allusion holds in
    the exchange.
  DULL. And I say the polusion holds in the exchange; for the moon is
    never but a month old; and I say, beside, that 'twas a pricket
    that the Princess kill'd.
  HOLOFERNES. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on
    the death of the deer? And, to humour the ignorant, call the deer
    the Princess kill'd a pricket.
  NATHANIEL. Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge, so it shall please
    you to abrogate scurrility.
  HOLOFERNES. I Will something affect the letter, for it argues
    facility.

    The preyful Princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasing
      pricket.
    Some say a sore; but not a sore till now made sore with shooting.
    The dogs did yell; put el to sore, then sorel jumps from thicket-
    Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.
    If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores o' sorel.
    Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L.

  NATHANIEL. A rare talent!
  DULL. [Aside] If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a
    talent.
  HOLOFERNES. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish
    extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects,
    ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions. These are begot in
    the ventricle of memory, nourish'd in the womb of pia mater, and
    delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the gift is good in
    those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.
  NATHANIEL. Sir, I praise the Lord for you, and so may my
    parishioners; for their sons are well tutor'd by you, and their
    daughters profit very greatly under you. You are a good member of
    the commonwealth.
  HOLOFERNES. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want
    no instruction; if their daughters be capable, I will put it to
    them; but, vir sapit qui pauca loquitur. A soul feminine saluteth
    us.

Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD

  JAQUENETTA. God give you good morrow, Master Person.
  HOLOFERNES. Master Person, quasi pers-one. And if one should be
    pierc'd which is the one?
  COSTARD. Marry, Master Schoolmaster, he that is likest to a
    hogshead.
  HOLOFERNES. Piercing a hogshead! A good lustre of conceit in a turf
    of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine; 'tis
    pretty; it is well.
  JAQUENETTA. Good Master Parson, be so good as read me this letter;
    it was given me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armado. I
    beseech you read it.
  HOLOFERNES. Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
    Ruminat-
    and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan! I may speak of thee as
    the traveller doth of Venice:
                   Venetia, Venetia,
                   Chi non ti vede, non ti pretia.
    Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! Who understandeth thee not,
    loves thee not-
                      Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.
    Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or rather as
    Horace says in his- What, my soul, verses?
  NATHANIEL. Ay, sir, and very learned.
  HOLOFERNES. Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege, domine.
  NATHANIEL. [Reads] 'If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to
      love?
    Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vowed!
    Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove;
    Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like osiers bowed.
    Study his bias leaves, and makes his book thine eyes,
    Where all those pleasures live that art would comprehend.
    If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;
    Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend;
    All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;
    Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire.
    Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,
    Which, not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.
    Celestial as thou art, O, pardon love this wrong,
    That singes heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.'
  HOLOFERNES. You find not the apostrophas, and so miss the accent:
    let me supervise the canzonet. Here are only numbers ratified;
    but, for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy,
    caret. Ovidius Naso was the man. And why, indeed, 'Naso' but for
    smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of
    invention? Imitari is nothing: so doth the hound his master, the
    ape his keeper, the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,
    was this directed to you?
  JAQUENETTA. Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Berowne, one of the strange
    queen's lords.
  HOLOFERNES. I will overglance the superscript: 'To the snow-white
    hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline.' I will look again on
    the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party
    writing to the person written unto: 'Your Ladyship's in all
    desired employment, Berowne.' Sir Nathaniel, this Berowne is one
    of the votaries with the King; and here he hath framed a letter
    to a sequent of the stranger queen's which accidentally, or by
    the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my sweet;
    deliver this paper into the royal hand of the King; it may
    concern much. Stay not thy compliment; I forgive thy duty. Adieu.
  JAQUENETTA. Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!
  COSTARD. Have with thee, my girl.
                                   Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA
  NATHANIEL. Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very
    religiously; and, as a certain father saith-
  HOLOFERNES. Sir, tell not me of the father; I do fear colourable
    colours. But to return to the verses: did they please you, Sir
    Nathaniel?
  NATHANIEL. Marvellous well for the pen.
  HOLOFERNES. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of
    mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify
    the table with a grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the
    parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben
    venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned,
    neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention. I beseech your
    society.
  NATHANIEL. And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is the
    happiness of life.
  HOLOFERNES. And certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.
    [To DULL] Sir, I do invite you too; you shall not say me nay:
    pauca verba. Away; the gentles are at their game, and we will to
    our recreation. Exeunt