SCENE III. London. The palace

Enter three or four PETITIONERS, PETER, the Armourer's man, being one

  FIRST PETITIONER. My masters, let's stand close; my Lord Protector
    will come this way by and by, and then we may deliver our
    supplications in the quill.
  SECOND PETITIONER. Marry, the Lord protect him, for he's a good
    man, Jesu bless him!

Enter SUFFOLK and QUEEN

  FIRST PETITIONER. Here 'a comes, methinks, and the Queen with him.
    I'll be the first, sure.
  SECOND PETITIONER. Come back, fool; this is the Duke of Suffolk and
    not my Lord Protector.
  SUFFOLK. How now, fellow! Wouldst anything with me?
  FIRST PETITIONER. I pray, my lord, pardon me; I took ye for my Lord
    Protector.
  QUEEN. [Reads] 'To my Lord Protector!' Are your supplications to
    his lordship? Let me see them. What is thine?
  FIRST PETITIONER. Mine is, an't please your Grace, against John
    Goodman, my Lord Cardinal's man, for keeping my house and lands,
    and wife and all, from me.
  SUFFOLK. Thy wife too! That's some wrong indeed. What's yours?
    What's here! [Reads] 'Against the Duke of Suffolk, for enclosing
    the commons of Melford.' How now, sir knave!
  SECOND PETITIONER. Alas, sir, I am but a poor petitioner of our
    whole township.
  PETER. [Presenting his petition] Against my master, Thomas Horner,
    for saying that the Duke of York was rightful heir to the crown.
  QUEEN. What say'st thou? Did the Duke of York say he was rightful
    heir to the crown?
  PETER. That my master was? No, forsooth. My master said that he
    was, and that the King was an usurper.
  SUFFOLK. Who is there? [Enter servant] Take this fellow in, and
    send for his master with a pursuivant presently. We'll hear more
    of your matter before the King.
                                         Exit servant with PETER
  QUEEN. And as for you, that love to be protected
    Under the wings of our Protector's grace,
    Begin your suits anew, and sue to him.
                                       [Tears the supplications]
    Away, base cullions! Suffolk, let them go.
  ALL. Come, let's be gone. Exeunt
  QUEEN. My Lord of Suffolk, say, is this the guise,
    Is this the fashions in the court of England?
    Is this the government of Britain's isle,
    And this the royalty of Albion's king?
    What, shall King Henry be a pupil still,
    Under the surly Gloucester's governance?
    Am I a queen in title and in style,
    And must be made a subject to a duke?
    I tell thee, Pole, when in the city Tours
    Thou ran'st a tilt in honour of my love
    And stol'st away the ladies' hearts of France,
    I thought King Henry had resembled thee
    In courage, courtship, and proportion;
    But all his mind is bent to holiness,
    To number Ave-Maries on his beads;
    His champions are the prophets and apostles;
    His weapons, holy saws of sacred writ;
    His study is his tilt-yard, and his loves
    Are brazen images of canonized saints.
    I would the college of the Cardinals
    Would choose him Pope, and carry him to Rome,
    And set the triple crown upon his head;
    That were a state fit for his holiness.
  SUFFOLK. Madam, be patient. As I was cause
    Your Highness came to England, so will I
    In England work your Grace's full content.
  QUEEN. Beside the haughty Protector, have we Beaufort
    The imperious churchman; Somerset, Buckingham,
    And grumbling York; and not the least of these
    But can do more in England than the King.
  SUFFOLK. And he of these that can do most of all
    Cannot do more in England than the Nevils;
    Salisbury and Warwick are no simple peers.
  QUEEN. Not all these lords do vex me half so much
    As that proud dame, the Lord Protector's wife.
    She sweeps it through the court with troops of ladies,
    More like an empress than Duke Humphrey's wife.
    Strangers in court do take her for the Queen.
    She bears a duke's revenues on her back,
    And in her heart she scorns our poverty;
    Shall I not live to be aveng'd on her?
    Contemptuous base-born callet as she is,
    She vaunted 'mongst her minions t' other day
    The very train of her worst wearing gown
    Was better worth than all my father's lands,
    Till Suffolk gave two dukedoms for his daughter.
  SUFFOLK. Madam, myself have lim'd a bush for her,
    And plac'd a quire of such enticing birds
    That she will light to listen to the lays,
    And never mount to trouble you again.
    So, let her rest. And, madam, list to me,
    For I am bold to counsel you in this:
    Although we fancy not the Cardinal,
    Yet must we join with him and with the lords,
    Till we have brought Duke Humphrey in disgrace.
    As for the Duke of York, this late complaint
    Will make but little for his benefit.
    So one by one we'll weed them all at last,
    And you yourself shall steer the happy helm.

          Sound a sennet. Enter the KING, DUKE HUMPHREY,
     CARDINAL BEAUFORT, BUCKINGHAM, YORK, SOMERSET, SALISBURY,
              WARWICK, and the DUCHESS OF GLOUCESTER

  KING HENRY. For my part, noble lords, I care not which:
    Or Somerset or York, all's one to me.
  YORK. If York have ill demean'd himself in France,
    Then let him be denay'd the regentship.
  SOMERSET. If Somerset be unworthy of the place,
    Let York be Regent; I will yield to him.
  WARWICK. Whether your Grace be worthy, yea or no,
    Dispute not that; York is the worthier.
  CARDINAL. Ambitious Warwick, let thy betters speak.
  WARWICK. The Cardinal's not my better in the field.
  BUCKINGHAM. All in this presence are thy betters, Warwick.
  WARWICK. Warwick may live to be the best of all.
  SALISBURY. Peace, son! And show some reason, Buckingham,
    Why Somerset should be preferr'd in this.
  QUEEN. Because the King, forsooth, will have it so.
  GLOUCESTER. Madam, the King is old enough himself
    To give his censure. These are no women's matters.
  QUEEN. If he be old enough, what needs your Grace
    To be Protector of his Excellence?
  GLOUCESTER. Madam, I am Protector of the realm;
    And at his pleasure will resign my place.
  SUFFOLK. Resign it then, and leave thine insolence.
    Since thou wert king- as who is king but thou?-
    The commonwealth hath daily run to wrack,
    The Dauphin hath prevail'd beyond the seas,
    And all the peers and nobles of the realm
    Have been as bondmen to thy sovereignty.
  CARDINAL. The commons hast thou rack'd; the clergy's bags
    Are lank and lean with thy extortions.
  SOMERSET. Thy sumptuous buildings and thy wife's attire
    Have cost a mass of public treasury.
  BUCKINGHAM. Thy cruelty in execution
    Upon offenders hath exceeded law,
    And left thee to the mercy of the law.
  QUEEN. Thy sale of offices and towns in France,
    If they were known, as the suspect is great,
    Would make thee quickly hop without thy head.
                  Exit GLOUCESTER. The QUEEN drops QUEEN her fan
    Give me my fan. What, minion, can ye not?
                        [She gives the DUCHESS a box on the ear]
    I cry your mercy, madam; was it you?
  DUCHESS. Was't I? Yea, I it was, proud Frenchwoman.
    Could I come near your beauty with my nails,
    I could set my ten commandments in your face.
  KING HENRY. Sweet aunt, be quiet; 'twas against her will.
  DUCHESS. Against her will, good King? Look to 't in time;
    She'll hamper thee and dandle thee like a baby.
    Though in this place most master wear no breeches,
    She shall not strike Dame Eleanor unreveng'd. Exit
  BUCKINGHAM. Lord Cardinal, I will follow Eleanor,
    And listen after Humphrey, how he proceeds.
    She's tickled now; her fume needs no spurs,
    She'll gallop far enough to her destruction. Exit

Re-enter GLOUCESTER

  GLOUCESTER. Now, lords, my choler being overblown
    With walking once about the quadrangle,
    I come to talk of commonwealth affairs.
    As for your spiteful false objections,
    Prove them, and I lie open to the law;
    But God in mercy so deal with my soul
    As I in duty love my king and country!
    But to the matter that we have in hand:
    I say, my sovereign, York is meetest man
    To be your Regent in the realm of France.
  SUFFOLK. Before we make election, give me leave
    To show some reason, of no little force,
    That York is most unmeet of any man.
  YORK. I'll tell thee, Suffolk, why I am unmeet:
    First, for I cannot flatter thee in pride;
    Next, if I be appointed for the place,
    My Lord of Somerset will keep me here
    Without discharge, money, or furniture,
    Till France be won into the Dauphin's hands.
    Last time I danc'd attendance on his will
    Till Paris was besieg'd, famish'd, and lost.
  WARWICK. That can I witness; and a fouler fact
    Did never traitor in the land commit.
  SUFFOLK. Peace, headstrong Warwick!
  WARWICK. Image of pride, why should I hold my peace?

Enter HORNER, the Armourer, and his man PETER, guarded

  SUFFOLK. Because here is a man accus'd of treason:
    Pray God the Duke of York excuse himself!
  YORK. Doth any one accuse York for a traitor?
  KING HENRY. What mean'st thou, Suffolk? Tell me, what are these?
  SUFFOLK. Please it your Majesty, this is the man
    That doth accuse his master of high treason;
    His words were these: that Richard Duke of York
    Was rightful heir unto the English crown,
    And that your Majesty was an usurper.
  KING HENRY. Say, man, were these thy words?
  HORNER. An't shall please your Majesty, I never said nor thought
    any such matter. God is my witness, I am falsely accus'd by the
    villain.
  PETER. [Holding up his hands] By these ten bones, my lords, he did
    speak them to me in the garret one night, as we were scouring my
    Lord of York's armour.
  YORK. Base dunghill villain and mechanical,
    I'll have thy head for this thy traitor's speech.
    I do beseech your royal Majesty,
    Let him have all the rigour of the law.
  HORNER`. Alas, my lord, hang me if ever I spake the words. My
    accuser is my prentice; and when I did correct him for his fault
    the other day, he did vow upon his knees he would be even with
    me. I have good witness of this; therefore I beseech your
    Majesty, do not cast away an honest man for a villain's
    accusation.
  KING HENRY. Uncle, what shall we say to this in law?
  GLOUCESTER. This doom, my lord, if I may judge:
    Let Somerset be Regent o'er the French,
    Because in York this breeds suspicion;
    And let these have a day appointed them
    For single combat in convenient place,
    For he hath witness of his servant's malice.
    This is the law, and this Duke Humphrey's doom.
  SOMERSET. I humbly thank your royal Majesty.
  HORNER. And I accept the combat willingly.
  PETER. Alas, my lord, I cannot fight; for God's sake, pity my case!
    The spite of man prevaileth against me. O Lord, have mercy upon
    me, I shall never be able to fight a blow! O Lord, my heart!
  GLOUCESTER. Sirrah, or you must fight or else be hang'd.
  KING HENRY. Away with them to prison; and the day of combat shall
    be the last of the next month.
    Come, Somerset, we'll see thee sent away. Flourish. Exeunt