RUPERT’S JOURNAL—Continued.

May 27, 1907.

A whole week has gone since I saw my Love!  There it is; no doubt whatever is left in my mind about it now!  Since I saw her my passion has grown and grown by leaps and bounds, as novelists put it.  It has now become so vast as to overwhelm me, to wipe out all thought of doubt or difficulty.  I suppose it must be what men suffered—suffering need not mean pain—under enchantments in old times.  I am but as a straw whirled in the resistless eddies of a whirlpool.  I feel that I must see her again, even if it be but in her tomb in the crypt.  I must, I suppose, prepare myself for the venture, for many things have to be thought of.  The visit must not be at night, for in such case I might miss her, did she come to me again here . . .

The morning came and went, but my wish and intention still remained; and so in the full tide of noon, with the sun in all its fiery force, I set out for the old church of St. Sava.  I carried with me a lantern with powerful lens.  I had wrapped it up secretly, for I had a feeling that I should not like anyone to know that I had such a thing with me.

On this occasion I had no misgivings.  On the former visit I had for a moment been overwhelmed at the unexpected sight of the body of the woman I thought I loved—I knew it now—lying in her tomb.  But now I knew all, and it was to see this woman, though in her tomb, that I came.

When I had lit my lantern, which I did as soon as I had pushed open the great door, which was once again unlocked, I turned my steps to the steps of the crypt, which lay behind the richly carven wood screen.  This I could see, with the better light, was a noble piece of work of priceless beauty and worth.  I tried to keep my heart in full courage with thoughts of my Lady, and of the sweetness and dignity of our last meeting; but, despite all, it sank down, down, and turned to water as I passed with uncertain feet down the narrow, tortuous steps.  My concern, I am now convinced, was not for myself, but that she whom I adored should have to endure such a fearful place.  As anodyne to my own pain I thought what it would be, and how I should feel, when I should have won for her a way out of that horror, at any rate.  This thought reassured me somewhat, and restored my courage.  It was in something of the same fashion which has hitherto carried me out of tight places as well as into them that at last I pushed open the low, narrow door at the foot of the rock-hewn staircase and entered the crypt.

Without delay I made my way to the glass-covered tomb set beneath the hanging chain.  I could see by the flashing of the light around me that my hand which held the lantern trembled.  With a great effort I steadied myself, and raising the lantern, turned its light down into the sarcophagus.

Once again the fallen lantern rang on the tingling glass, and I stood alone in the darkness, for an instant almost paralyzed with surprised disappointment.

The tomb was empty!  Even the trappings of the dead had been removed.

I knew not what happened till I found myself groping my way up the winding stair.  Here, in comparison with the solid darkness of the crypt, it seemed almost light.  The dim expanse of the church sent a few straggling rays down the vaulted steps, and as I could see, be it never so dimly, I felt I was not in absolute darkness.  With the light came a sense of power and fresh courage, and I groped my way back into the crypt again.  There, by now and again lighting matches, I found my way to the tomb and recovered my lantern.  Then I took my way slowly—for I wished to prove, if not my own courage, at least such vestiges of self-respect as the venture had left me—through the church, where I extinguished my lantern, and out through the great door into the open sunlight.  I seemed to have heard, both in the darkness of the crypt and through the dimness of the church, mysterious sounds as of whispers and suppressed breathing; but the memory of these did not count for much when once I was free.  I was only satisfied of my own consciousness and identity when I found myself on the broad rock terrace in front of the church, with the fierce sunlight beating on my upturned face, and, looking downward, saw far below me the rippled blue of the open sea.